Wednesday, 20 June 2012

Interviews lead to baldness

OK, so there is no actual scientific link between interviews and hair loss. In fact I'm not sure there is any correlation, but there should be. I know when they time came for me to do my interviews for airline jobs baldness was a concern, lots of head scratching and sleepless nights.

There was a recruiting boom on, it was a golden age for expansion, it was pre- September the 11th (you all know the one). I had enough flying experience to make my application viable for both regional airlines and major airlines. I didn't really care who I worked for, if it had turbine engines I was happy.

Quackadoo Airlines were my preferred company (names protected to keep HR happy). I had passed the first stage, a cruel day of psychological exams (as if being a pilot wasn't proof enough of a mental imbalance), hand eye co-ordination and a myriad of other test made to send your brain numb. Even to this day I can't see a cube without mentally unfolding it see what pattern it would make. Now the wait. If you progress, a phone call, if not, a letter a few weeks later. A few weeks later the phone rang, progress to stage two.

Now I had the joy of a ride in the flight simulator and a grilling in front of the firing squad. Many of my friends spent money on a practise Sim ride, I wasn't that rich or forward thinking. I did play a lot of flight Sim to prepare though. Most of my friends stressed about the Sim ride, but me, I was actually a sea of calm. I went in with a philosophy that this may be my one chance to fly a 747 and I was going to enjoy it, and I did! I think I grinned the whole time.  I was probably still grinning when I walked into the panel interview, but not for long.  Any job interview is a nervous time.  I was on one side of the desk, the men in black on the far side, I'm sure their seats were raised above mine for effect.  Let the questions begin.  It was the standard tell us about your self, tell us some history of Quackadoo, and "what you don't know the answer, are you an idiot" kind of questions.  In amongst this a few tell us a story of how you stuffed up, or embarrassed yourself questions.  An hour later I thought what a bunch of @%&$* and was on my way.  Again my destiny was a letter or a phone call.

It was a phone call, I could breath again.  Well actually I was breathing as Boing!, a regional airline also gave me an interview the day before.  There process was similar, only much more friendly.  The medical was fun.  Poked and prodded, breathe in, breathe out, turn your head and cough, tell me when you hear a noise.  After a brief heart scare due to an incorrectly placed sensor I was done.  Again a letter or phone call.  It was a letter, but hope was not lost, I was on the hold file.

Eventually Quackadoo said I was indeed a suitably qualified nut case and able to fly their aeroplanes. I had made it, I had also made it to Boing! as well.  All I had to do now was pass ground school and training.

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